MNF 1st

Greetings.

The month is all but over, meaning you're probably in the latter stages of planning a boozy episode of Gascoigne proportions. But for as long as everyone keeps twatting on about double extensions in Hadley Wood, a free night out isn't to be sniffed at. So listen good.

First up, courtesy of my chums at McQueen, the people in around Shoreditch can bag themselves free entry to the outdoor venue that I spin at every night from 6pm.

Back to MNF.com this week, I've got an exclusive interview with our latest football stars - defend-assaulting solo man mountain Marc Didgyrogybum. Miss him last week, head here for a sneaky chance to play with him on Monday Night, now go drink your paycheque.

Last Nights Soccerettes??

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If you’ve found yourself in the unfortunate situation of having to entertain children this week, you won’t go far wrong with new Disney/Pixar effort Ice Age Collision Course - Just seen it. It’s about animals, you see. And kids dig Animals. If, on the other hand, you fancy giving the little sods some severe mental trauma, sneak them over to Borehamwood on Monday night – for a home-grown comedy named after the original Defraud & Dumber or MNFmassive. Which you’re already Googling.

Last nights soccerette?

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Morning!

See this? This is a 36pt font. The minimum size Damon Letzer demands people use when sending him emails. Otherwise he just sees a screen full of squiggly fuzz.

Luckily, you‘ve got eyes that work. And while you may not be the ideal candidate to live or buy and refurbish two houses right opposite his new gaf, the positives are that you‘ll always beat the man that scored Monday’s winner at darts, and you can appreciate the full glory of last nights Soccerette (right Didge?!). You‘re special. Remember that….

Who’s In