MNF 17th

I’ll level with you. It’s nearly 1pm on Friday afternoon and I was out last night in a crowded club sounded by lovely ladies. And to top it all off, three of my favourites have turned up clutching bottles of champagne and wearing outfts that appear to have been stolen from elves.So as I'm sure you’ll understand, I'm going to keep things brief and leave you to let me know ASAP if you wanna feature in the last MNF of 2018. Who knows, Reply quickly and you might live to see the New Year after all. Which just leaves us to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. I'm off to hurl plastic mistletoe at the fit work experience girl…

MNF 10th

Xmas just became X-rated with the super-sexy MNF tomorrow

In the meantime, enjoy my humbler than usual offerings of hot girls from last night. I'm off to load up on Red Bull and enough salty snacks to see me through a long week of Christmas Gigs, music-polishing and the odd stress-relieving burst on Guitar Hero - Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Think of me in the clubbing coalface.

MNF 3rd

Hello just the small matter of the NLD this weekend, and Defraud can't lose..

In the meantime, enjoy my humbler than usual offerings of hot girls from last nights Ned gig (Nice to see you Damo!). I'm off to load up on Red Bull and enough salty snacks to see me through a long weekend of playing tunes and watching the buildup to the game . Enjoy your weekend. Think of me at 3 am.

Soccerette Anyone?

MNF 26th

So this email is in homage to our favourite MNFer (Defraud), a hardy old soul whose life revolves around Nandos and E2 while steadfastedly getting involved in some of that dental reconstuction. So here¹s for the best game we¹ve ever had, focusing on 5G pitch, being on time and some brand-new players from last week? Life¹s to be lived, after all.

Soccerette Anyone?? 

MNF 19th

Bexit’s nearly done, and anyone feeling ripped off is perfectly within their rights – just don’t go kicking any dogs. Or tossing kittens into wood chippers for that matter. Instead, embrace Winter. How? By manning up like Olympic man-dolphin Michael Phelps and eating 12,000 calories a day. That’ll keep you snug. Just ask MNF’s Chilli, who found room in his working day for the gold medal-winning eating regime. Remember: when it comes to fried egg sandwiches, more is definitely more.  

Soccerette Anyone 

MNF 12th

Hello 

Prefer your entertainment with a little less blood, sweat and grunting? Check out our comprehensive list of MNFers who no longer want to participate in the longest running north London kick about. It’s light on grappling, but laden with hilarious, sexy and inventive attempts to score goals and get out of paying subs. There's also a new ball for Monday, and there’s a rumor that Defraud might be back. He's currently supporting a Guy Fawkes costume shoving Eddie the zombie squarely off his perch in the 'looks incredible in a pair of tight leather trousers' stakes.

Soccerette Anyone?

MNF 5th

Halloween is well and truly over, it’s cold outside and I’m pretty much skint as had to pay for last weeks pitch. So what better way to spend next Monday than chatting and kicking a ball with some of the fittest 40 somethings in the UK? You can look at this email for free, and if you feel you’d like to dip your toe in, it’ll cost you less than the price of a pint at Soho House. And what’s more, you can do it all from the comfort and warmth of Borehamwood. Lovely.

Soccerette?

MNF 22nd

Hello you.

I know what you're thinking - something's not right. But there's no need to log an angry call with IT, or smash your keyboard to pieces like a displeased Ape,  Allow me to explain. I'm late sending out this email for a very good reason. After 3 gigs this weekend with these hotties I totally forgot..

Who’s In?

MNF 24th

As I’m about to board  a plane back to Ibiza - a bit pie-eyed, there's only one certainty about that chaotic rocky island that's similar to MNF - you can never guess what will happen next. But that is exactly ho wee like it, taking place entirely on location and featuring bared breasts (thanks Shahab!) and other sundry fun in the sun. The MNFers will claim a place in Mondays game - raise a lazy glass to the ultimate kick about…

Soccerette Anyone??

MNF 10th

The beetroot-coloured, burger-munching, lager-swiller is one of Britain's most famous exports - as you know. But the outside world is only now beginning to doff it's cap to the existence of our second great export… the gin-guzzling Fitterz. And where better to find them than in the grizzly depths of San Antonio's West End in Ibiza. So just for your enjoyment I scooped up three of them, sent them to the more affable surroundings of the Ocean Beach Club, stuck them on our table and asked them all where they are going for Rosh Hashanah?

Those that wanna celebrate New Year playing Footy let me know…

MNF 3rd

Hello you.

It's no secret that times are hard. Even the imminent Champions League - an event once so epically hard to get tickets for, every year, without fail, you’d have to rely on Dan Reese’s Dad - has this year been reduced to a barely summer chinwag around a broken photocopier. Still, I'm committed to helping the rest of you out, hence why I’m inviting you to Monday’s game.

Soccerette Anyone?

MNF 20th

I’ve been chancing my arm at getting numbers for MNF during August. Each week, I come up with funny 1 liners, shine a camera at hot girls whilst djing and ask for your excuses on why you can’t play?. Until recently, this was terrifying. But then I realized its dark in clubs and the girls don’t see how much grey hair ive actually got, at which point it just became a free for all to see how I quick I could get the shot in...

Soccerette Anyone??

MNF 13th

It’s nearly – nearly – the end of the week: the end of somewhat unconventional tinkering with a “side-scrolling” MNF Friday Email. Yep, some of you are binning it for something better then my usual tat and titillation, but not before I pretend you care and offer up another game. Here's where its at. (yup, Borehamwood 8pm). The first 16 to correctly reply “football experiment” wins a place. You’ll also get a bundle of hotties from this weeks Ibiza trip for your troubles. Oh and if you're around the Ned tomorrow night come and here me play discoooo

Soccerette Anyone?

MNF 6th

After what has felt like an eternity, MNF is finally back. With loads of you away on holibobs, I’ve had to make do with arse-scratching and yawning – which is no substitute, frankly. I’ve been so excited about the upcoming game that I’m waiting in the car park and pumping up the balls already. Get involved. Have a great weekend.

Soccerette Anyone??

MNF 30th

Our beloved MNF is obviously more exciting as a pile of wet pants, but out there in the big bad world the weather’s been half-decent. Well, good enough for Hotties to slip on their designer bikinis, at any rate. To celebrate, here’s lasts nights bikini Soccerette, Incidentally, if you disapprove of candid shots of beautiful women taken unawares, then I apologise. Also, welcome to the internet!

Whos In???

MNF 23rd

As any pie-eyed reveller on the plane back from Ibiza will try and tell you, there's only one certainty about that chaotic rocky island - you can never guess what will happen next. But that is exactly what you'll have to do in tomorrows game, played entirely on location in borehamwood its sundry fun in the sun. The winners will claim the finest prize ever - guest list to my next gig over there, so raise a lazy glass to the ultimate party and enjoy the rest of the weekend…

Soccerette Anyone 

MNF 16th

Afternoon! Apart from spanking your wages on ill-advised (but genial) first goalscorer and correct score flutters, the next best way to add pure first-pumping exhilaration to your football appetite is to get yourself in the MNF team. Ping me back an email when ready. Weekly winners will receive gobsmacking humour and bullet-proof bragging rights. Hate football? You're not alone. You are in the arsehole of minorities, but you're not alone. Still, if there's anything out there that could bring you around to liking the game, how well we did in the World Cup. Never going to turn? You don't find my emails funny? suit yourself. 

Here's some oiled-up groupies beauties from last night,  Gotcha.

MNF 9th

After what has felt like an eternity, football might be coming home. With no German, Spain or Brazil involvement, there’s no time for arse-scratching and yawning – which is no substitute, frankly. I’ve been so excited about the upcoming MNF that I’ve even watched everyone of the ‘Coming Home Videos on the entire internet: You’ve been whatsap’ing these around the sooner than you can say ’Sterlings Crap’. That’s a promise.

Fancy taking on fellow MNFers in a football challenge? Head over to Borehamwood on Monday and get yourself in a team. Get involved. Have a great weekend..

Soccerette Anyone??

MNF 2nd

Morning 

Sure, Shimon Defraud blasted three home in a much-needed Darks drubbing – but we know the real reason behind his fancy footwork: his BBQ's. Check out his hat-trick inspiring sausages. In other girl-related news, I’ve got the hottest 2 from Saturday Night. Who are they? Only the best looking things ever to appear at 1 of my gigs in the history of the world. Ever.

Soccerette Anyone??

MNF 25th

Hello 

The beetroot-coloured, burger-munching, lager-swiller is one of Britain's most famous exports - as you know. But the outside world is only now beginning to doff it's cap to the existence of our second great export… the alcopop-guzzling trollop. And where better to find them than in the grizzly depths of San Antonio's West End in Ibiza. So just for your enjoyment I stayed away and scooped up three of hotties from the more affable surroundings of Cala Jondal…

Soccerette Anyone?

MNF 11th

                

Morning!

If the normal Friday email plays a key role in killing time before hitting the clubs on a weekend, then think of me partying in Greece to 5am as a crutch to lean on as you ease yourself into the working week. Today‘s choice pick? A couple of hotties from last night revealing their kinkiest bedtime tricks. I never knew watermelon could be used like that, but it‘s a revelation I'm happy to share.

Soccerette Anyone?

MNF 4th

The Borough of Hertfordshire has given the world many iconic cultural products over the years - BBQs, EastEnders, er… Shimon Defriend.

But the most consistently reliable contribution that Borehamwood has issued has been… MNF. Producing quality football since 1980, We've now teamed up with Southgate to bring you the ‘Game’ of all games….

Who Fancy’s the Soccerette?

MNF 21st

As any pie-eyed reveller on the plane going to Ibiza will try and tell you, there's only one certainty about that chaotic rocky island - you can never guess what will happen next. But that is exactly what I'll have to do on Sunday, playing tunes to crowds featuring bared breasts and other sundry fun in the sun. You guys can still claim the 2nd finest prize - raise a lazy glass to the ultimate 8-a-side game - I’ll probably be on a sun lounger being charged 50 Euros for a water so you 2 to can make your prone position more entertaining. 

Soccerette Anyone?

MNF 14th

When you’re the second best footballer in NW London, there are certain things you can get away with. Unfortunately, starring in a game with me isn’t one of them, as Vinnie found out when he read reviews of ‘MNFMassive’ on youtube earlier this year. In it, he wakes up just as Shimon Defraud hits a volley from 10 yards. And then goes on holiday in speedos and a string vest. Case closed.

Soccerette ?????

MNF 23rd

This week's MNF featured Shimon Defraud - and 6 other fellas in a specific rainy location not taking drugs, not drinking booze and ending up inside Nandos in the middle of Borehamwood. The revelry ends when one fella performs a lethal tackle, and the game becomes a calamitous gore–fest. All the players but one are fairly likeable, which makes watching them play hugely enjoyable. Skill: check. passion: check. Lateness: check. Want in?.

Soccerette anyone?

MNF 16th

After what has felt like an eternity, football is finally back. Without my involvement on Monday, I had to make do with arse-scratching and yawning – which is no substitute, frankly. I’ve been so excited about tomorrow that I’ve even compiled the biggest list of candidates: You’ll be emailing this one round the interweb sooner than you can say ‘3-1’. That’s a promise.

Soccerette??

MNF 9th

It's summer… Just about. Luckily, you've still got just enough time to get your shorts on, get out there and achieve greatness in the sun (with the help of some sexy girls, a amazing pitch at Borehamwood and the intel to make you a water-fight Rambo).

And if you fancy watching me run around Regents park Sunday morning – meet at London Zoo 9am

Soccerette Anyone??

MNF 26th

When you’re born with the face of an angry hamster, you deserve a few breaks in life. But following a string of successful MNF appearances, the good lord has decided that Shimon Defraud and the world are just about even, and nabbed his goal scoring ability away from him. Yup, the Rangy driving striker had a stinker. And by way of celebration, I’ve gathered up a selection of his shots on youtube - Spray on some Right Guard and see them here…https://www.youtube.com/user/MNFmassive

Soccerette Anyone? 

MNF 19th

As even the hairiest of MNFers will tell you (Probably Me), Borehamwood is a tough place. Assuming you survive the oppressive locals and the yut-bashing moped fans, there’s still  parking to worry about. But persevere and you’ll discover a shimmering oasis of virtually flawless players (Me, Again!), all sporting slightly funny accents and tending to chicken-laden Nando's. And mingling somewhere among them is ex-Rowly Lane resident and international guntz Richard Freed, who returned to the team this week. Curious? Free Monday? Quick fingers? The first 16 to chuck us an email will immediately be given a place to Monday’s game. Because that's how we roll. Have a great weekend.

Soccerette Anyone?

MNF 12th

Hello 

Did you know that a McDonald’s burger left it in a cool, dark place for 12 years will look exactly the same as the day you bought it, give or take some slight discolouration? Try it. Here at MNF, I wouldn’t dare let anything stagnate for that long (well I would, I do it all the time – I just wouldn’t eat it), which is why major changes are afoot. Before the week’s out, you’ve got last night's Hotties to have a look at. They were awesome.

Enrolled in Mondays game? If not I’ll be naming the teams on Monday morning just before I go for my first back laser. And speaking of cool gadgetry, Ive got a new IPhone X  It’s the showpiece of Apple apparently, so no excuses for not getting any of your emails...

Soccerette Anyone?

MNF 5th

Deniz Aziz loves to ski. Me, I quite like skiing. We have snow, we have computers. So Deniz can make an awesome skiing game that we can play if Monday gets called off...

Fancy living it up, Borehamwood-style on the streets of Elstree? Well, to celebrate being back at our old hunting ground, MNF are giving away 16 spaces in next weeks behemoth Game.

Who Fancy's the Soccerette???

Birthday MNF 26th

In a deeply selfish and short-sighted way, we missed Simon Defriend this week. The man is rarely much more than comprehensible but never less than entertaining. 

I’ve also been chancing my arm at appearing ‘on the telly’. Each week, the Channel 5 cameras pitch up at the office, shine a camera in my face and ask for my opinion on the latest slum landlord nightmare tenants and the odd music releases. Until recently, this was terrifying. But then Ch 5 started bringing along a glamorous assistant, at which point it just became a free for all to see who could get the best look down her top.  

Birthday Soccerette Anyone?

MNF 19th

The Winter Olympics has officially begun, meaning we've finally got some sporting goodness to fill the boring TV void...

Great game this week, and women everywhere were gasping all over their keyboards trying to find footage, MNF penetrates deep inside the potty-mouthed Monday phenomenon that's warped your girlfriend's sex drive...

Whether you've got a long train journey ahead of you or you're sitting at home with your feet up over the weekend, next weeks game will have some brilliant long passes and banta to stimulate your brainbox…

Soccerette Anyone? 

MNF 12th

Watch the super bowl? If you did, you’ll be feeling a touch bleary-eyed this week. And the office is an evil, evil place when you’ve only had four hours sleep. Optrex might help, but infinitely less bastardy than an eye-gargle would be to meet a brand new MNF: Chilli, Cooper, Ratz and Freed are four old and pleasantly corruptible players. And unlike their eminent predecessors, they’re all late. They’re fronting the next weeks game. From the moment the posh one opens his mouth to reveal big white teeth and a gentle lisp, you’ll be smitten. Probably in quite a sinister way. So good luck with that and have a good weekend. 

WAIT! Before you go wandering off around the rest of the internet, email back if you fancy the Soccerette???.

MNF 29th

Lads,

It’s cold outside, the whole world is skint, Meghan Markle’s about to get married and you still have to contemplate shopping this weekend. So here’s some good news, and as an MNFer I’m telling you first: your favourite Rowleylanemonkey has spent 6 months confirming a new home. I hope you like it.

Soccerette Anyone??

MNF 22nd

One kind MNFer (or sarcastic wag, yet to be rumbled) suggested MNF should enter some Organization awards this year, based on the undoubted email-brightening capabilities of our weekly get-to-gethers . Next Monday is no different, cladding your bodies in the finest football training wear you could find. Reply now or your be taking the kids tramlining… 

Soccerette Anyone??