MNF 28th

Afternoon 

Face it: if you spend most of your day at a desk, you're going to get RSI. So you might as well go down in a blaze offurious, rate or slate action. My patented MNF-O-Matic tool will facilitate upper limb and wrist disorder quicker than most, but if you'd prefer a smoother lady selecting mechanic, the hottie from last night was a must see. The countdown to the Top sixteen MNFers starts here..

Soccerette Anyone?

MNF 21st

Hello you.

Happy Friday. As you may have seen, there was some heated debate this week at MNF, so moving my fingers to type this is visibly using up my very last dregs of life force. Advance apologies for any spelling mistakes or cool-sounding one liners from last nights clubbing adventure.

You’re better off focusing on the game than reading this drivel, anyway – there’s a whole new MNF next week with an hour of our finest moments from the last lot of regulars, over 50 'want-ins', and the best style advice anywhere in the world from Deniz Aziz. Come and have a play . I'm off to the bar. If anyone’s in Dean Street in London, I’ll be the knackered-looking bloke with Tippex tans drinking heavily.

Have a great weekend.

Soccerette Anyone??

MNF 14th

Prefer non-strenuous bids for glory? In order to win a place in this Mondays MNF, you'll need either spod-proof tactical nous, or the sort of luck that in another form would see you struck by lightning 38 times in the space of nine months. Up for it? Respond to this email, then have a look at the hotties from last night. There's places up for grabs - shiny ones that you can trade for crack. The MNF team

Soccerette Anyone?

MNF 7th

Today's big news (apart from the late email?!) is that the Duchess of St Johns Wood, the princess formerly known as Simon Defriend has been papped shopping in NYC instead of workin. Oh yeah, and he was unable to play footy on Monday coz he was ‘Packing’.

Now, i can't show you the pictures of his royal gonkness with his royal chicken legs exposed, but I can go one better: a pic of Lisa, a girl who can flip cups using only the power of her bum, and Kelly. You're welcome.

Soccerette???

MNF 31st

’Simon Defraud' roll that around around your mouth a few times. Cool, huh? The name belongs to The MNF’s most annoying contestant, an exotic 42-year-old of Dutch/French/English descent. He’s wanted to score for MNF since last Monday, and now it might just happen. Elsewhere, I’ve been marvelling at the mesmeric qualities of our revamped Man-O-Match vote. And not much else. Because it’s that good. 

Soccerette Anyone??

MNF 24th

The month is all but over, meaning you're probably in the latter stages of planning a boozy episode of Gascoigne proportions. But for as long as everyone keeps twatting on about economic strife, a 5 quid night out isn't to be sniffed at. So listen good.

First up, courtesy of my chums at Borehamwood FC, the first sixteen people to send their details here bag themselves a place at an exclusive football event on Monday night.

Fancy a ‘big’ weekend beforehand? Join me over in Amsterdam for ADE it’s the Holland Equivalent of a Boys night out with Simon Defraud & a few of his work colleagues, there’s space for a few more, so let me know?!

Soccerette Anyone?

MNF 17th

It’s been 5 full days since I nearly scored a worldy at MNF’s Best Performance so far crown and 12 since Mark Ratzger undid all his hard work by getting a cold. Now aged 43, supernatural forces must be called into action to get him back for the sequel. 

I Want To Believe the flame-haired Cockfosters Gink will be back alongside “purely professional” partner Dave Lee, in a plot inspired by the original Monday Nights. But if that all goes wrong, there’s still the vague hope that team mate Shimon Defriend might say something really funny about his performance.

Soccerette Anyone?