Birthday MNF 26th

In a deeply selfish and short-sighted way, we missed Simon Defriend this week. The man is rarely much more than comprehensible but never less than entertaining. 

I’ve also been chancing my arm at appearing ‘on the telly’. Each week, the Channel 5 cameras pitch up at the office, shine a camera in my face and ask for my opinion on the latest slum landlord nightmare tenants and the odd music releases. Until recently, this was terrifying. But then Ch 5 started bringing along a glamorous assistant, at which point it just became a free for all to see who could get the best look down her top.  

Birthday Soccerette Anyone?

MNF 19th

The Winter Olympics has officially begun, meaning we've finally got some sporting goodness to fill the boring TV void...

Great game this week, and women everywhere were gasping all over their keyboards trying to find footage, MNF penetrates deep inside the potty-mouthed Monday phenomenon that's warped your girlfriend's sex drive...

Whether you've got a long train journey ahead of you or you're sitting at home with your feet up over the weekend, next weeks game will have some brilliant long passes and banta to stimulate your brainbox…

Soccerette Anyone? 

MNF 12th

Watch the super bowl? If you did, you’ll be feeling a touch bleary-eyed this week. And the office is an evil, evil place when you’ve only had four hours sleep. Optrex might help, but infinitely less bastardy than an eye-gargle would be to meet a brand new MNF: Chilli, Cooper, Ratz and Freed are four old and pleasantly corruptible players. And unlike their eminent predecessors, they’re all late. They’re fronting the next weeks game. From the moment the posh one opens his mouth to reveal big white teeth and a gentle lisp, you’ll be smitten. Probably in quite a sinister way. So good luck with that and have a good weekend. 

WAIT! Before you go wandering off around the rest of the internet, email back if you fancy the Soccerette???.

MNF 29th

Lads,

It’s cold outside, the whole world is skint, Meghan Markle’s about to get married and you still have to contemplate shopping this weekend. So here’s some good news, and as an MNFer I’m telling you first: your favourite Rowleylanemonkey has spent 6 months confirming a new home. I hope you like it.

Soccerette Anyone??

MNF 22nd

One kind MNFer (or sarcastic wag, yet to be rumbled) suggested MNF should enter some Organization awards this year, based on the undoubted email-brightening capabilities of our weekly get-to-gethers . Next Monday is no different, cladding your bodies in the finest football training wear you could find. Reply now or your be taking the kids tramlining… 

Soccerette Anyone??

MNF 6th

Happy New Year!

Yes, your hangover hurts, but if you're reading this then it means you're physically capable of seeing out of the front of your face. Well done, soldier. Now for the hard part: New Year's resolutions. Most of them you're on your own with, but if you've got any fitness-based goals for 2018, you need to start with a brisk walk to the computer to reply to this email about Monday’s MNF 8.30PM Rowley Lane. It will have everything you need to get fit, strong and healthy - fast. Or by the end of January, anyway.

Soccerette Anyone?

MNF 18th

Festive Greetings!

Relax. Christmas is almost here. Like you, I've been spending the week feigning excitement over horrendous Xmas Parties and blaming sprouty flatulence on the office hounds. But I've still found time to knock together a hangover-beating mini-selection of footballers on a pitch in Rowley Lane 8pm that's guaranteed to beat a re-watch of The Spy Who Loved Me. Though if you check out the girls from last night, I'll understand if you'd rather spend the day masturbating yourself into a nerdy frenzy. See you on Monday if not 2018!

Soccerette Anyone???