MNF 3rd The First Of 2011

Hi there,
A brand new Year. Weren’t expecting that, were you? Not on the last day of the year. Not when it was the Jonathan Defraud New Years Eve Party is on tonight and I hope to drink enough sugary cocktails to kill a reasonably sized pig. Not when I should be sitting around coming up with new and exciting MNF emails and waiting for the first one of the year to come. Or to find out how the Wogmans & Ratzgers celebrated Christmas, But hey, there you go. Surprise!
Have a great 2011, play nice, chill out and eat well. Just don’t get too fat. Fat is not cool. Unless you’re David Lee. Oh, and Santa. Santa is SAFE.
Soccerette Anyone...

MNF 20th

Aloha,
It's all over, then. X Factor is done and dusted for another year. What did we learn? That, after hundreds of thousands of entrants, millions of votes, and a lot of judge-based bickering, it's impossible to find anyone that can sing a Biffy Clyro song better than Biffy Clyro.
Also, Deniz Azizberg & Robert Baum let us down on Monday. The MNFer merry-go-round is moving so fast these days I'll probably need a football manager version of X Factor soon.
Katie Weissel can play Damon.
Christmas Soccerette anyone????

MNF 13th Teams

Richard Ashley, yeah? Know him? Slightly ging? 45 Years old? Recently had a tea and cake party at his soon-to-be 6 bedroom 5 bathroom mickey in Cockfosters also does a bit of IT for RBS, Damon Letzer’s been in marketing for one for a million years because kids bloody well LOVE a bit of online gambling Yeah? You with me? Want to go see them both live with at MNF and just 14 other people? Then go
Teams

Darks

1. Jason
2. Didge
3. Dan Reese
4. Baum
5. Turk
6. Perilly
7. Chilli
8. TBC

Whites

9. Singer
10. Gink
11. Coops
12. Silver
13. Iain
14. Shimon
15. Damon
16. TBC

MNF 13th

Hullo there,
Right now, I’m watching Mondays MNF and Shimon Defriends flick on, He refers to himself as the "ambassador of skill" which is pretty much the best thing I've ever heard anyone refer to themselves as and I want you to think about that for a little while when watching him trip up the Gink at about 1 min in. HERE ON YOUTUBE What can you truly say you are the ambassador of, hmm? If the answer is "very little", make that your number one goal this weekend. Imagine going to MNF on Monday and announcing to everyone that you’ve had a life-changing Saturday and Sunday because via a series of difficult tasks you have become the ambassador of getting out of going shopping with your bird. Yeah, now you’re listening. Defraud & Woggers in Selfridges. On TK Max maybe, or with the Ratzgers.

MNF 6th Teams

Hullo,
What a weekend it's been since we last spoke. Wikileaks, Leslie Nielsen, snow, shambolic goings-on at FIFA, Deniz Azizberg hosting a table @ the Rays Of Sunshine Ball. But then he did bid 25k for Britains Got Talent backstage passes while his Missus was chatting up Olly Murs and everything was alright again. Come on MNF, Teams below please don’t be late…..

Darks

1. Gink
2. Warren
3. Jason d
4. Chilli
5. Shimon
6. Deniz
7. Dan Reese
8. Gotts

Whites

9. Silver
10. Damon
11. Cooper
12. Perilly x1
13. Singer
14. Baum
15. Vinnie
16. The Rat

MNF 6th

Alright?

Brr. Bit parky, isn’t it? If this cold snap doesn’t let up soon I’m gonna have to issue ‘snoods’ for you to wear @ MNF. Still, it’s December, which means Defraud & The Rat are going on another Holiday, Gingbag has signed up for another month on sugardaddy.com, and The Grotts is gonna be on time…..
P.S. About that snood… Not really – we’re not Simon Defriend. Who wants more fun then a FIFA voting committee meeting in Zurich? Or just fancy’s the Soccerette I met last night???

MNF 29th TEAMS

Hullo,

Since last Friday, Simon Defraud’s scored a goal, Richard Ashley’s had another Football Lesson and the most eligible young man in the world has stood in front of the cameras and declared he’s definitely not interested in spending the next few decades sleeping his way around the world like David Lee. MNF Email=weird.- have had a few drop outs already so please ask around need 2 more…………

Darks

1. Deniz
2. Cooper
3. Perilly
4. Singer
5. Freed
6. Silver
7. Jason D

Whites

8. Damon x1
9. Simon
10. Baum x1
11. Chilli
12. Dan Reese
13. Gotts
14. Gink

MNF 29th

Hullo

Another week over, another weekend ahead. And one you can legitimately start dropping Christmas into conversations in, seeing as the big day is less than a month on Thursday. This means: shopping. This means: asking other people to pick up stuff for you. Until then though, we'll just worry about the important issues. Like: will they have a defibrillator standing by the next time Gillian McKeith gets a bushtucker trial. Soccerette Anyone???

MNF 22nd Teams

Hello

Another Monday is upon us, and there’s been some weekend since we last spoke. Spurs battered the Arse at Immigrants, Haye knocked out Fraudley with a 3D cough, Richard Ashley decided he couldn’t play in goal after bashing to many out and James Langley looks fat in yesterdays Mail On Sunday . Me? I spent my time rigging bets on X Factor after my friend’s dad’s workmate’s stepson said that Katie lady had already been declared the winner by Dermot O’Leary after he met him on the bus. And noodles. I had noodles. Don’t forget your subs to be paid upfront and get there early oh and seriously did you watch the highlights or am I freezing my nuts off for nothing?? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ge2_D8JzB4 thanks
Teams

Darks

1. Gink
2. Baum
3. Singer
4. Den
5. Ron k
6. Simon x1
7. Vinnie
8. Perilly

Whites

9. Gotts x1
10. Warren x1
11. Damon
12. Cooper
13. Chilli
14. Silver x1
15. Didge
16. Dan Reese x1

MNF 22nd

Hello,
Yes, Me again. The perfect pick-me-up if you're still wallowing in the aftermath of the Whites revolution that hit Borehamwood on Monday. Richard Ashley is a hero though, ain't he? There's nothing to dislike about a man who so closely resembles Prince Harry. His defending was the first thing to make crocked MNF gaffer smile since a bigger boy kicked me too hard and fractured my fibula. Yeah, just like Mark Ratzger, anyway the highlights are on the blog, but if you still cant watch it try youtube here HERE its HD you know?! – Who fancys the soccerette???

MNF 15th Teams

Hello,

Some weekend, eh? Gingbag & his brother Jim found a crappy vase in their parents house that tuned out to be worth £4.36, A bunch of students sacrificed their lecture time to walk around London in sweats and flip-flops holding boards saying things like 'F*** Fees' and then decided to smash some windows. Not really sure why the police were surprised. They've obviously never been outside Pizza City in Preston when the Student Union kicks out. At least MNF is still 5 squid. So steer clear of Borehamwood please, we like our portacabins just the way they are thanks….

Tonight’s teams, once again X means what’s owed from previous, and don’t forget to be there at 7.50pm & pay before you play please!!

Darks

Perilly x1
Jason d
Vinnie x1
Gink
Warrem
Damon
Cooper x1
Silver x1

Whites

Chilli
Dan Reese
Baum
Turk
The Rat
Simon
Gotts
Didge

MNF 15th

Hullo,

What a week, eh? If you like girls there was a few knocking around Maison Rouge Marrakesh (apparently). If you like Football there was MNF. And if you like The X Factor there was Cheryl Cole picking up her ball and going home with it. So stroppy. Last time a MNFer refused to pay up front it resulted in another load of roaming charges on their phone. Watch out Vinnie, Dave & Deniz are tech’d up!! Soccerette Anyone???.

Stag Teams 8th

Hello

Your consignment worth $20million, for MNF has been returned as undelivered, respond with you payment before you play including previous owed marked with an X for verification Mr.Max Bloom Chairman Nigerian City Bank. it also turns out some fella called Deniz Aziz is pretty handy at organising Stag weekends in Marrakesh. I feel like Russell Brand when Katy Perry calls him from the shower.

DON’T BE LATE

DARKS

Warren
Chilli
Didge
Damon
Gotts
DENIZ
Jason d x 1
Baum x1

WHITES

Ron k x 2
Cooper x1
Dave lee
Gink
Simon
Cooper
Adam
The Rat

MNF 8th

Hullo,

So, Halloween’s over. Good. Carving a pumpkin is a massive enforced-joy BALLACHE. Evil children came round and took all of my fun size Mars bars. Everywhere I looked there were people dressed up in freaky outfits that made me uncomfortable. Well, not EVERYWHERE I looked. On Saturday night we went to Soho House and everyone was dressed up like characters from The Only Way Is Essex except a bit more, well, ESSEX. Oh, and that Gonk from All Star Family Fortunes was there. He’s MASSIVE now. we're off for David Lees Stag weekend with these two below, who else fancy's the Soccerette????

MNF 1st TEAMS

Hello,



So Saturday night was great, right? Simon Defraud was on ITV – doing naff dancing and pulling a stupid face and you guys all tuned in like loyal keenos, yes? Well just in case you had a family bereavement or something keeping you busy, head to the ITV Player http://www.itv.com/itvplayer/video/?Filter=185638 to see it. It’s funny. I promise.



Here’s the teams don’t forget last weeks subs marked with an X which needs to be paid before you play



Darks



Simon
Gink x1
Damon
Ratz x1
Chilli x1
Baum x1
Weener
Gotts x1


Whites



Iain
Cooper x1
Dan Reese x1
Jason D x1
Deniz x1
Didge x1
Dave Lee x1
Lee Dicker x1

MNF 1st

Hullo,
Bradley, eh? Bloody mental, that’s what that was. One minute he’s moaning he cant get a game, the next he’s pulling out whilst I’m in Japan. That’s a bit like going to break up with your girlfriend and marrying her instead. Biggest turnaround since Dave Lee turned out not to have a penis and Gingbag started fancying him again. It’s going to be some time ‘til we can trust Burkstar again. But we will. I couldn’t trust those ‘fishy pasties’ I had last night and spent most of today regurgitating. But I gave them a second chance. And now I love them. Mmm.
Enjoy the weekend, look who’s coming over….. – who fancy’s the soccerette???

Teams MNF 25th

Hello,

This week: a very special guest intro spot from MNF’s Japanese player, Warren Weener.

Warren writes: Ouroboros is an ancient symbol that depicts a snake devouring its own tail. The symbol first began appearing in 14th-15th century Albigensian printing watermarks. Primarily it represents cyclicality, eternal return and a sense of something constantly recreating itself, much like the MNF email. Each week you receive one, and each week it combines new with old, funny with sad, breasts with bottom. Change can be hard, as can loss. But they can also be positives. As one door closes, another one opens. When Richard Ashley had to pull out because of a spot it was hard, but then Bradley stepped in, Damon pulled out to be replaced by Ron K and all was well again. Don’t fear change, change is exciting. As former Labour politician Harold Wilson said: "The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery." Enjoy the game, and I’ll be collecting the dosh next week so don’t forget X means owed.

Well done Warren. You are excellent. Just like last weeks highlights………………..

Darks

1. Perilly
2. Didge
3. Warren
4. DJ X 1
5. Gotts
6. The Rat
7. Dave Lee
8. Cooper

Whites


9. Chilli
10. Vinnie
11. Bradley
12. Jason D
13. Dan Reese
14. Baum
15. Turk
16. Ron k X 1

MNF 25th Japan

Hello,

Japan=Cool. Upper Class Virgin=Totally Cool. First Flight in Ages=Craped myself.

Anyways I’m here and its warm, Think the Weener is too, although haven’t bumped in to him yet, reckon a few more hours and he’ll be falling out of some dodgy bar run by Nigerians in Roppongi so in the meantime and whilst im still compos mentis I’m sending out the MNF blog – I’m also attaching the link to Mondays highlights on youtube right here, they’re good, very good in fact, yes the shaky hand man is in action but unfortunately that’s how its gonna be for a while, ok its not as good as Bale’s performance on Wednesday night but its dam sight better than the song we White Hart Lane faithful sing, here’s a pic of tonight’s sushi partner, anyone fancy the soccerette???

Teams MNF 18th

Hello,
You guys. It’s for you I’ve spent that last few months working behind the scenes to bring you a better, redder MNFmassive.com. I’m very proud of it, but it won’t be fully finished for another four weeks, so we’ll save the party ‘till then. In the meantime, let me know what you think of last weeks highlights with the music. Just be nice.
Let me know asap if you cant make it Enjoy the game...please remember to pay before you play and X means owed from last week………..

Darks
1. Baum
2. Gink
3. Dan r
4. Vinnie
5. Cooper
6. Chilli
7. iain
8. Dave Jones


Whites

9. Dave Lee
10. Deniz
11. Gotts
12. Jason D
13. Ratz
14. Didge
15. Perilly
16. Damon

MNF 18th

Hello
How exciting for 41-year-old Richard Ashley. He’s going to the Matt Goss gig on Tuesday night, which is a classy, Michael Buble type of event, except better. Basically Deniz Aziz is missing out. Mark Ratzger is the MNFer you never hear about. It’s unfair, really. But Shimon Defraud is still on is 3rd Honeymoon so it’s time for The Rat to STEP THE BLOODY HELL UP. In a bikini. So goodbye then. Have a nice Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Stay out of trouble. Drink some cold cider. BUT BEFORE YOU GO: the new edited Highlights with and without Tunige, and my commentary that basically says 'GREAT' every 2 secs....Soccerette Anyone???

Teams

Hello,

M=Monday. N=Night. F=Football.

Deniz is totally BACK, playing tonight in MNF. Vinnie will be there, probably wearing something silly on his head. To celebrate the game I’ve brought back the HD camera. Visit our very own youtube to watch all the previous highlights if you like.

Defrauds still away but Damon will be there: Masterclasses, (For Gingbag £40) Skill sampling (Dave Lee) and 16 types of delicious attitude. So if you can’t play let me know ASAP as I have at least 4 MNFers that want a game……

Enjoy tonight….


Darks

1. Damon
2. Cooper
3. Ian chap
4. Vinnie
5. Gink
6. Dave Lee
7. Jason d
8. Dan Reese

Whites

9. Ron k
10. Chilli
11. Didge
12. The rat
13. Perilly
14. Baum
15. Deniz
16. Gotts

MNF 11th

Afternoon.
Liverpool in the relegation zone, eh? BONKERS. Question: Which MNFers are the easiest to wind up and why? Send your answers, with anecdotal evidence. The most amusing email wins a place in Mondays MNF. You know, to grind. And chance to sit in Deniz Azizbergs new motor, it’s a porky you know! also if anyone wants to play in a 11 aside friendly one off for Shenley United synagogue this Sunday morning at Hatfield against Brady Macarbi, drop us a line………..
Enjoy the weekend!! Soccerette Anyone???

MNF 4th Football Lessons

Hello,
Welcome to October. A good month for people who pay for One To One Football lessons (Gingbag its made NO difference, is it a Landmark one??!) get your money back son, a bad month for people who hate 911 drivers don’t use your roaming if you brought your phone from Deniz Azizberg. BE CAREFUL. I know a guy who did, whilst in Ibiza and was found three days later with a massive bill, rocking back and forth on the bathroom shouting “I’ve Never Heard Of Cell Phone Store!!” Weird. I don't see him much anymore, But you might see this below on Monday night………..
So let’s do this. MNF, who fancys the Soccerette????

MNF 27th TEAMS

Hello,
This week: a bonanza of a MNF. Why? Because I love you, like toasted soldiers love dippy eggs.
ONE/ the highlights from last week are amazing. It Stars Richard Ashley, consistently funny, shits all over Match Of The Day.

TWO/ Shimon Defriend reckons Spiders live for 10 years…..

THREE/ because I sent a picture of Family Fortunes there was no MNF babe – There is now…………

Enjoy the game...

Whites

1. Gink
2. Perilli
3. Ratzger
4. Vinnie
5. Chilli
6. Gotts
7. Damon
8. Freed x 1


Darks

9. Ron k
10. Simon
11. Turk
12. Cooper
13. Warren
14. Lee Dicker
15. Jason D
16. Danny D

MNF 27th

Afternoon.
How's it going? I had an enormous egg, sausage and bacon panini for breakfast. Pretty rowdy behaviour for a Friday morning, I'll admit. But I was still all happy inside after watching Simon Defriends goal on the highlights footage. My new favourite Twitter account is www.twitter.com/simondefriend, because after the Moody’s stealthy hat-trick he said, "Shimon should only be filmed in black and white, with a cigarette in his mouth and a tiny gun aimed at Humphrey Bogart." SPOT ON. Soccerette Anyone???
Enjoy the weekend

MNF 20th TEAMS

Hello,

Shimon Defraud! He’s all around us. But has he ever seen Richard Ashley attack a pomegranate while wearing hardly anything? Unlikely. Has he ever read an interview with Casualty extra and esteemed Male model Dave Lee? We doubt it. Is he a massive fan of inspirational grime dude, Mark Ratzger? There’s a small chance. Would he ever dare refer to 'Boat' as “just a bit of ass”? Good Lord I hope not! Please dont forget last weeks subs, marked by and X below

Enjoy the game.......


Darks


1. Gotts x1
2. Dan R
3. Didge x1
4. Damon
5. Warren
6. Ron k x1
7. Simon x1
8. Perilly x1
Whites


9. Dave lee x 1
10. Cooper x1
11. Dave Jones x1
12. Vinnie x 1
13. Gink
14. DENIZ x1
15. JASON D x1
16. Ratz

MNF 20th

Afternoon.

Afternoon.


I'm running late today. In between playing Monopoly on my Itouch, figuring out what I want from life, keeping track of current affairs, training to film you lot on Monday Night, looking after the workies (below) , eating enough before I start fasting, catching the eye of the new girl, re-jigging the MNF team, making sure I don't miss out on any free flights & acommadation in Ibiza, taking deliverey of a bottle of vodka at 11.30am and pissing off MNF's answer to Steve Brookstein, (Dave Lee) it's been a solidly frantic end to the week. Anyone fancy the Soccerette???

MNF 6th TEAMS

Aloha,

So the weekend is over. Darks play Whites tonight in a European MNF Championships qualifier, which was exciting. But it's a friendly, which isn't that exciting. Elsewhere there's a chance I could be going to Ibiza this week, which is exciting. Unless you don't like Ibiza, in which case, it won't be exciting for you. If MNF isn't your thing, why not go out, buy a Rolex and go to a party? Maybe you could nab a few model types, or just drink until everyone looks like a model type. Not sure how to go about all these things but Dave Lee is back in the fold tonight and he’ll clue you up.
TEAMS

Darks

Dan Reese
Jason D
Jason Lynsey
Vinnie
Shimon
Baum
DIDGE
Perilly



Lights

The Rat
Gink
Freed
Cooper
DENIZ
Dave Lee
Lloyd
Gotts x2

MNF 6th

Any woman that bosses people around at Stanstead Airport without a suitcase has got a bit of fire in her. Unfortunately for Shimon Defraud, it was his wife. This time, however, she's got a point, that doodling F**K is always taking the mick when it comes to time keeping, Right you so called MNFers that let us down on Monday have been demoted for next weeks game although you're still allowed to see a pic of todays Fitterz Not only does she have a very impressive-sounding name and a very firm-looking body, but there were also a whole host of other, little-known reasons why Miss Naughty asked for my number. Soccerette Anyone????