MNF 2nd

Hi there,

Sorry its late but in case you hadn't noticed, SUMMER'S HERE. In March? Isn't it too early? No. Summer is a state of mind, not tied to specific months. How can I tell? Easy:

— Girls are suddenly dramatically more attractive because they have removed their outer layers of clothing and added hilariously oversized sunglasses that make them resemble bugs (sexy bugs).
— Sometimes, Gingbag will be walking through the high street at, like, half-ten in the morning, and there'll be a bloke with his shirt tied round his waist and a can of lager in his hand, and he'll look at him like he's the odd one that bats for the other side.
— I've been looking up barbecue recipes online and genuinely thinking about setting stuff alight, shoving cheap meat on top of it for an indeterminate duration and then eating it. (very Gino De Campo)
— Cider is out of the awkward hinterland between "mulled" and "chilled", meaning we can drink it shamelessly in wasp-filled beer gardens the land over.
— I'm looking at cars with open-topped roofs and feeling jealous of their combovered owners. — I've had the heating off for three whole days and I might bloody well open a window soon and don't you even try to stop me.

So that settles that, then. Summer's here. Break out the shorts. Pass us our flip-flops. Get us a cocktail stick with crusty pineapple stuck to it. WE ARE READY.

Soccerette>??????

MNF 27th

Hi there,

Today, unlike most Fridays, I am having a party Shimon Defruad will be there with his brother and their smiling faces will be seen by loads of single geezers while conducting high-octane chat up lines with the waitresses. I don't know if you've ever asked Ratzger how good he is at FIFA while ducking under the bar of an exclusive members-only club in Shoreditch, but it's quite difficult. And bruising.

So if you fancy some life-affirming supes-realistic sweat-fest McQueen is the place to be. Gino De Campo might even make an appreance?!, email your details and tell me your favourite submission hold if you wanna come down?

Soccerette Anyone???

MNF 13th

Hi there,

People make you vote for all sorts, these days. Who do you want to run your country? Guilty or not guilty? Evict the desperate fame-hungry one or... the other desperate fame-hungry one? What should Gingbags new rabbit be called? Which Z-list celeb is better at ice skating?

BUT NONE OF THIS REALLY MATTERS.

THERE'S AN IMPORTANT MATTER TO BE SETTLED.

Who Fancy's the Soccerette???

Enjoy the weekend...

MNF 7th Be There Or Be Square

Hello

True story of the day: it was almost exactly 1 week ago that MNF's Max Bloom had a party not unfortunately on a private jet, alongside 22 of the world's most beautiful women, being ferried to Libya for an eye-to-eye oratory on exactly how Britain should tell Gaddaffi to go screw himself, but at McQueen with a these lovely ladies below…
Fancy a game on Monday? Then make sure you pay your subs before you play. OR... Watch Mondays Highlights right here and see Deniz Aziz hopping off like a Drogba in the CL final a few years back, and sixteen of you lucky souls will get a place in next weeks game. But only if you're nice, obviously.

MNF 28th Teams Arse 1 Birmingham 2

Morning,
Yesterday, at about 10am, MNF gaffer writer Max Bloom answered the phone to Simon Defraud. During the call I was offered a ticket for the Carling Cup Final at Wembley, (Club Level - including a buffet with seven pieces of meat: a crocodile steak, an ostrich steak, a zebra steak, a camel steak, a wildebeest steak, a kangaroo steak and a wagyu beef steak. It was easily the hardest decision in my life to turn it down. Needless to say, I’m gutted. But not that much I had 5-1 on the Blues.
Remember: Don’t be late tonight or forget to pay before you play
Enjoy the game…….,



Darks

1. Deniz
2. Cooper x1
3. Chilli
4. Perilly
5. The rat
6. Simon
7. Didge
8. Gotts

Whites

9. Damon
10. Gink
11. David d
12. Baum
13. Silver
14. Ian
15. Singer
16. Jason d

MNF 13th

Hullo there,
Right now, I’m watching Mondays MNF and Shimon Defriends flick on, He refers to himself as the "ambassador of skill" which is pretty much the best thing I've ever heard anyone refer to themselves as and I want you to think about that for a little while when watching him trip up the Gink at about 1 min in. HERE ON YOUTUBE What can you truly say you are the ambassador of, hmm? If the answer is "very little", make that your number one goal this weekend. Imagine going to MNF on Monday and announcing to everyone that you’ve had a life-changing Saturday and Sunday because via a series of difficult tasks you have become the ambassador of getting out of going shopping with your bird. Yeah, now you’re listening. Defraud & Woggers in Selfridges. On TK Max maybe, or with the Ratzgers.

MNF 8th

Hullo,

So, Halloween’s over. Good. Carving a pumpkin is a massive enforced-joy BALLACHE. Evil children came round and took all of my fun size Mars bars. Everywhere I looked there were people dressed up in freaky outfits that made me uncomfortable. Well, not EVERYWHERE I looked. On Saturday night we went to Soho House and everyone was dressed up like characters from The Only Way Is Essex except a bit more, well, ESSEX. Oh, and that Gonk from All Star Family Fortunes was there. He’s MASSIVE now. we're off for David Lees Stag weekend with these two below, who else fancy's the Soccerette????

MNF 1st TEAMS

Hello,



So Saturday night was great, right? Simon Defraud was on ITV – doing naff dancing and pulling a stupid face and you guys all tuned in like loyal keenos, yes? Well just in case you had a family bereavement or something keeping you busy, head to the ITV Player http://www.itv.com/itvplayer/video/?Filter=185638 to see it. It’s funny. I promise.



Here’s the teams don’t forget last weeks subs marked with an X which needs to be paid before you play



Darks



Simon
Gink x1
Damon
Ratz x1
Chilli x1
Baum x1
Weener
Gotts x1


Whites



Iain
Cooper x1
Dan Reese x1
Jason D x1
Deniz x1
Didge x1
Dave Lee x1
Lee Dicker x1

Teams MNF 18th

Hello,
You guys. It’s for you I’ve spent that last few months working behind the scenes to bring you a better, redder MNFmassive.com. I’m very proud of it, but it won’t be fully finished for another four weeks, so we’ll save the party ‘till then. In the meantime, let me know what you think of last weeks highlights with the music. Just be nice.
Let me know asap if you cant make it Enjoy the game...please remember to pay before you play and X means owed from last week………..

Darks
1. Baum
2. Gink
3. Dan r
4. Vinnie
5. Cooper
6. Chilli
7. iain
8. Dave Jones


Whites

9. Dave Lee
10. Deniz
11. Gotts
12. Jason D
13. Ratz
14. Didge
15. Perilly
16. Damon

MNF 11th

Afternoon.
Liverpool in the relegation zone, eh? BONKERS. Question: Which MNFers are the easiest to wind up and why? Send your answers, with anecdotal evidence. The most amusing email wins a place in Mondays MNF. You know, to grind. And chance to sit in Deniz Azizbergs new motor, it’s a porky you know! also if anyone wants to play in a 11 aside friendly one off for Shenley United synagogue this Sunday morning at Hatfield against Brady Macarbi, drop us a line………..
Enjoy the weekend!! Soccerette Anyone???

MNF 4th Football Lessons

Hello,
Welcome to October. A good month for people who pay for One To One Football lessons (Gingbag its made NO difference, is it a Landmark one??!) get your money back son, a bad month for people who hate 911 drivers don’t use your roaming if you brought your phone from Deniz Azizberg. BE CAREFUL. I know a guy who did, whilst in Ibiza and was found three days later with a massive bill, rocking back and forth on the bathroom shouting “I’ve Never Heard Of Cell Phone Store!!” Weird. I don't see him much anymore, But you might see this below on Monday night………..
So let’s do this. MNF, who fancys the Soccerette????

MNF 27th TEAMS

Hello,
This week: a bonanza of a MNF. Why? Because I love you, like toasted soldiers love dippy eggs.
ONE/ the highlights from last week are amazing. It Stars Richard Ashley, consistently funny, shits all over Match Of The Day.

TWO/ Shimon Defriend reckons Spiders live for 10 years…..

THREE/ because I sent a picture of Family Fortunes there was no MNF babe – There is now…………

Enjoy the game...

Whites

1. Gink
2. Perilli
3. Ratzger
4. Vinnie
5. Chilli
6. Gotts
7. Damon
8. Freed x 1


Darks

9. Ron k
10. Simon
11. Turk
12. Cooper
13. Warren
14. Lee Dicker
15. Jason D
16. Danny D

MNF 27th

Afternoon.
How's it going? I had an enormous egg, sausage and bacon panini for breakfast. Pretty rowdy behaviour for a Friday morning, I'll admit. But I was still all happy inside after watching Simon Defriends goal on the highlights footage. My new favourite Twitter account is www.twitter.com/simondefriend, because after the Moody’s stealthy hat-trick he said, "Shimon should only be filmed in black and white, with a cigarette in his mouth and a tiny gun aimed at Humphrey Bogart." SPOT ON. Soccerette Anyone???
Enjoy the weekend